Jokes

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    • A guy picks up a pr*stitute and proceeds to spend a couple of hours with her at a seedy motel.
      A few days later, he finds that he has caught crabs.
      He chases down the prostitute and says, "hey bitch, you gave me crabs".
      She replies, "what'd you expect for ten bucks? Lobster?"



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      Galaxy S7 Edge SM-G935F
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      and

      Note 4 SM-910F
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    • What is difference between woman and condom ?
      None :)
      Both of them spend more time in your wallet ... than on your d*ck !



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      My Phones: Nokia 909, Motorola V3, ... Siemens S35, Siemens S45 . . . ( :hmm: can not remember) ... SEK750, SEK800, SEC905, Galaxy S1, S2, Note 2, Note 3, Note 4 and now my

      Galaxy S7 Edge SM-G935F
      EchoeRom N v? with S7E AEL N Kernel v?


      and

      Note 4 SM-910F
      EchoeRom v? with N4 AEL Kernel v?




    • 2 cowboys talking about s*x.
      1 cowboy says 'I like the rodeo position !'
      'I haven't heard of that ... ' says the other cowboy, 'what is it ?' 'Well get your girlfriend down on all fours and mount her from behind. Then reach round and cup both of her breasts and whisper 'these feel just like your sisters' and try and hold on for 8 seconds !'



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      My Phones: Nokia 909, Motorola V3, ... Siemens S35, Siemens S45 . . . ( :hmm: can not remember) ... SEK750, SEK800, SEC905, Galaxy S1, S2, Note 2, Note 3, Note 4 and now my

      Galaxy S7 Edge SM-G935F
      EchoeRom N v? with S7E AEL N Kernel v?


      and

      Note 4 SM-910F
      EchoeRom v? with N4 AEL Kernel v?




    • Pr*stitute in the police station. The desk officer sayes 'so when did you realise you were raped ?' She replies ... 'when the cheque bounced !'



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      My Phones: Nokia 909, Motorola V3, ... Siemens S35, Siemens S45 . . . ( :hmm: can not remember) ... SEK750, SEK800, SEC905, Galaxy S1, S2, Note 2, Note 3, Note 4 and now my

      Galaxy S7 Edge SM-G935F
      EchoeRom N v? with S7E AEL N Kernel v?


      and

      Note 4 SM-910F
      EchoeRom v? with N4 AEL Kernel v?




    • A little boy asks his Mum 'why am I black and you are white ?' 'Don't even ask,' she replies 'when I think back to that party ... you are lucky that you not bark !' +:ist_depressiv=+:



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      My Phones: Nokia 909, Motorola V3, ... Siemens S35, Siemens S45 . . . ( :hmm: can not remember) ... SEK750, SEK800, SEC905, Galaxy S1, S2, Note 2, Note 3, Note 4 and now my

      Galaxy S7 Edge SM-G935F
      EchoeRom N v? with S7E AEL N Kernel v?


      and

      Note 4 SM-910F
      EchoeRom v? with N4 AEL Kernel v?




    • Ok, So superman was flying around on day after he had saved the world. "Man that was hard work, Now I need to relax and f*ck a b*tch."
      And so he went to the batcave. He walked over to batman and asked, "You know any hoes that just want to have s*x?"
      Batman looked and replied, "Well I heard superwomen wants to have s*x."
      Superman looked at him and shook his head,"Well superwomen wants to have s*x with EVERYONE."
      So intern he goes to robin, "Look robin I know your gay and all but do you know any hoes that want to f*ck."
      Robin replies, "Well I heard superwomens pretty good."
      Superman looks and says,"Well EVERYONE hears superwomen is good."
      Pissed superman flies off. While hes flying he passes over a field. He looks down and sees superwomen completly naked with her legs spread.
      Superman thinks to himself, "I can get in and out in faster than a speeding bullet."
      So he flies down gets in and gets out faster than a bullet.
      Back in the field superwomen looks around and says, "What the f*ck was that?"
      and invisible man says, "I don't know but my ass hurts." :lolno:



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      My Phones: Nokia 909, Motorola V3, ... Siemens S35, Siemens S45 . . . ( :hmm: can not remember) ... SEK750, SEK800, SEC905, Galaxy S1, S2, Note 2, Note 3, Note 4 and now my

      Galaxy S7 Edge SM-G935F
      EchoeRom N v? with S7E AEL N Kernel v?


      and

      Note 4 SM-910F
      EchoeRom v? with N4 AEL Kernel v?




    • A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, the doctor notices a red 'H' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.

      A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue 'Y' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.

      A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green 'M' on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor.

      "No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin, Why do you ask?" +:w=+:



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      My Phones: Nokia 909, Motorola V3, ... Siemens S35, Siemens S45 . . . ( :hmm: can not remember) ... SEK750, SEK800, SEC905, Galaxy S1, S2, Note 2, Note 3, Note 4 and now my

      Galaxy S7 Edge SM-G935F
      EchoeRom N v? with S7E AEL N Kernel v?


      and

      Note 4 SM-910F
      EchoeRom v? with N4 AEL Kernel v?




    • "Mr.Yawnie" wrote:

      You horny girl :p

      Sent from my GT-I9505 using Tapatalk


      I didn't invent them! +:blinzel=+:



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      My Phones: Nokia 909, Motorola V3, ... Siemens S35, Siemens S45 . . . ( :hmm: can not remember) ... SEK750, SEK800, SEC905, Galaxy S1, S2, Note 2, Note 3, Note 4 and now my

      Galaxy S7 Edge SM-G935F
      EchoeRom N v? with S7E AEL N Kernel v?


      and

      Note 4 SM-910F
      EchoeRom v? with N4 AEL Kernel v?




    • Sandy and John were an extremely liberal, though not especially bright, white couple. Wanting to begin a family, they decided they wanted to have a black baby, and set to work.
      Nine months later, the fruits of their labor was born: a lovely white girl. Pleased but disappointed, John decided to ask a black man at work why they hadn't parented a black baby.
      Realizing that John was somewhat sluggish, the fellow took him aside and asked, "Is your d*ck at least a foot long?"
      John had to admit that it was not.
      "And is it at least four inches wide?"
      Once more John replied in the negative.
      "Well, man, there's your problem!" the guy slapped him on the back. "You let in too much light!"



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      My Phones: Nokia 909, Motorola V3, ... Siemens S35, Siemens S45 . . . ( :hmm: can not remember) ... SEK750, SEK800, SEC905, Galaxy S1, S2, Note 2, Note 3, Note 4 and now my

      Galaxy S7 Edge SM-G935F
      EchoeRom N v? with S7E AEL N Kernel v?


      and

      Note 4 SM-910F
      EchoeRom v? with N4 AEL Kernel v?




    • A guy walks into a pharmacy and buys a pack of condoms. The cashier asks him if he wants a bag. He responds, "No, she's not that ugly." +:so_ja_nicht=+:



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      My Phones: Nokia 909, Motorola V3, ... Siemens S35, Siemens S45 . . . ( :hmm: can not remember) ... SEK750, SEK800, SEC905, Galaxy S1, S2, Note 2, Note 3, Note 4 and now my

      Galaxy S7 Edge SM-G935F
      EchoeRom N v? with S7E AEL N Kernel v?


      and

      Note 4 SM-910F
      EchoeRom v? with N4 AEL Kernel v?




    • Q: Why don't witches wear underwear?
      A: For a better grip on there broomstick!
      [spoiler2]
      [/spoiler2]



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      My Phones: Nokia 909, Motorola V3, ... Siemens S35, Siemens S45 . . . ( :hmm: can not remember) ... SEK750, SEK800, SEC905, Galaxy S1, S2, Note 2, Note 3, Note 4 and now my

      Galaxy S7 Edge SM-G935F
      EchoeRom N v? with S7E AEL N Kernel v?


      and

      Note 4 SM-910F
      EchoeRom v? with N4 AEL Kernel v?




    • When I was a kid, my dad sat me down and showed me pictures of why I should always wear a condom. Funny thing is, they were all just pictures of me.



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      My Phones: Nokia 909, Motorola V3, ... Siemens S35, Siemens S45 . . . ( :hmm: can not remember) ... SEK750, SEK800, SEC905, Galaxy S1, S2, Note 2, Note 3, Note 4 and now my

      Galaxy S7 Edge SM-G935F
      EchoeRom N v? with S7E AEL N Kernel v?


      and

      Note 4 SM-910F
      EchoeRom v? with N4 AEL Kernel v?




    • A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."



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      My Phones: Nokia 909, Motorola V3, ... Siemens S35, Siemens S45 . . . ( :hmm: can not remember) ... SEK750, SEK800, SEC905, Galaxy S1, S2, Note 2, Note 3, Note 4 and now my

      Galaxy S7 Edge SM-G935F
      EchoeRom N v? with S7E AEL N Kernel v?


      and

      Note 4 SM-910F
      EchoeRom v? with N4 AEL Kernel v?




    • The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"



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      My Phones: Nokia 909, Motorola V3, ... Siemens S35, Siemens S45 . . . ( :hmm: can not remember) ... SEK750, SEK800, SEC905, Galaxy S1, S2, Note 2, Note 3, Note 4 and now my

      Galaxy S7 Edge SM-G935F
      EchoeRom N v? with S7E AEL N Kernel v?


      and

      Note 4 SM-910F
      EchoeRom v? with N4 AEL Kernel v?




    • A bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?" "Okay, sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is put the prisoner in the prison." And they made love for the first time and the husband was smiling with satisfaction. Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped." Turning on his side, he smiles and says, "Then we will have to re-imprison him." After the second time, the bride says, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!" The husband rises to the occasion and they made love again. The bride again says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again," to which the husband yelled, "Hey, it's not a life sentence!!!"



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      My Phones: Nokia 909, Motorola V3, ... Siemens S35, Siemens S45 . . . ( :hmm: can not remember) ... SEK750, SEK800, SEC905, Galaxy S1, S2, Note 2, Note 3, Note 4 and now my

      Galaxy S7 Edge SM-G935F
      EchoeRom N v? with S7E AEL N Kernel v?


      and

      Note 4 SM-910F
      EchoeRom v? with N4 AEL Kernel v?