Jokes

    This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse this site, you are agreeing to our Cookie Policy.

    • Tim, Tom, and Teddy were all lost in the forest, each of them had 25 cents to survive. They walked around for hours, and had no luck.
      So Tim suggested that they split up and meet up at that same spot in an hour, they all agreed and set out on their separate ways.
      While walking Tim came across a dick sucking machine, that cost 25 to use, and he says, "Wow! Haven't got my dick sucked in a while! Why not!" So he puts in his quarter, gets his dick sucked and continues on his way.
      Then while Tom was walking he comes across it as well, he realized they only had 10 minutes until they were to all meet up again, so he says "Well I haven't got my dick sucked in a while, why not?" so he puts in his quarter and gets his dick sucked, after gathering himself he realizes he needed to hurry back , he gets there and Tom and Teddy are waiting for him.
      "Where were you?" asked Teddy.
      "Lost track of time." Said Tom
      "Well does everyone have their quarters?" Asks Teddy.
      They all share a look. "Well?" asks Teddy.
      "I lost mine!" Said Tim and Tom at the same time.
      Teddy then smiles and pulls out 3 quarters.



      For Governor and Sheduler infos. Take a look at
      this site

      Display Spoiler



      My Phones: Nokia 909, Motorola V3, ... Siemens S35, Siemens S45 . . . ( :hmm: can not remember) ... SEK750, SEK800, SEC905, Galaxy S1, S2, Note 2, Note 3, Note 4 and now my

      Galaxy S7 Edge SM-G935F
      EchoeRom N v? with S7E AEL N Kernel v?


      and

      Note 4 SM-910F
      EchoeRom v? with N4 AEL Kernel v?




    • A famous American golfer is invited to go to China for a golfing tournament.
      From the second he gets there, he is treated like a king. He is given five-star treatment in a five-star hotel until the day of the tournament.
      The night before the tournament, he is sitting in his hotel room watching TV.
      A hot Asian girl walks up to his room and he says, "Wow. They must really love me here." He begins to have sex with her the whole night.
      She continues to scream, "Chung Hoi! Chung Hoi!," but he ignores it.
      At the tournament, the American golfer gets a hole-in-one and gets really excited.
      He starts yelling, "Chung Hoi! Chung Hoi!"
      One of the Chinese golfers says, "What do you mean 'WRONG HOLE'?"



      For Governor and Sheduler infos. Take a look at
      this site

      Display Spoiler



      My Phones: Nokia 909, Motorola V3, ... Siemens S35, Siemens S45 . . . ( :hmm: can not remember) ... SEK750, SEK800, SEC905, Galaxy S1, S2, Note 2, Note 3, Note 4 and now my

      Galaxy S7 Edge SM-G935F
      EchoeRom N v? with S7E AEL N Kernel v?


      and

      Note 4 SM-910F
      EchoeRom v? with N4 AEL Kernel v?




    • A married woman walks up to Santa Claus and tells him that all she wants for Christmas is for her husband to be interested in s*x.
      Santa then proceeds to give her a bottle of pills. He tells her to give them a try and then let him know how it's working.
      So she takes the pills home and puts one pill in her husband's Christmas dinner. That night, they make love for one hour. The next day, she's running around thrilled and happy.
      "Oh, my God. I can't believe how well that worked," she thinks to herself.
      That night she puts two pills in his food and that night they make love for two hours. The next day, she's even more thrilled, so she dumps all the pills in his food.
      Two weeks go by without any word from this woman, so Santa decides to give her a call. A little boy answers the phone. Santa says, "Little boy, is your mother home?"
      "No, she's...who's this?" the little boy asks. "I'm a friend of your mother's and I gave her some pills to help her out a couple of weeks ago. Maybe you know how it's going?"

      "That was you?!" the little boy says. "Let me tell you -- Mom's dead, sister's pregnant, my ass hurts and Dad's in the attic going, 'Here kitty, kitty, kitty.' "



      For Governor and Sheduler infos. Take a look at
      this site

      Display Spoiler



      My Phones: Nokia 909, Motorola V3, ... Siemens S35, Siemens S45 . . . ( :hmm: can not remember) ... SEK750, SEK800, SEC905, Galaxy S1, S2, Note 2, Note 3, Note 4 and now my

      Galaxy S7 Edge SM-G935F
      EchoeRom N v? with S7E AEL N Kernel v?


      and

      Note 4 SM-910F
      EchoeRom v? with N4 AEL Kernel v?




    • A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."


      Echoe V48 N4


      for latest Mods you can always have a look here S4 Mods old for V55 for V57 it's in the kitchen
      Guide to enable Toolbox Toggle
      S4 I9505 Modems and Bootloaders
    • Boy in the bath with his mum. Boy says, "Whats that hairy thing mum ?"
      Mum replies, "That is my sponge."
      "Oh yes," says the boy, "The babysitters got one, I've seen her washing dads face with it ."



      For Governor and Sheduler infos. Take a look at
      this site

      Display Spoiler



      My Phones: Nokia 909, Motorola V3, ... Siemens S35, Siemens S45 . . . ( :hmm: can not remember) ... SEK750, SEK800, SEC905, Galaxy S1, S2, Note 2, Note 3, Note 4 and now my

      Galaxy S7 Edge SM-G935F
      EchoeRom N v? with S7E AEL N Kernel v?


      and

      Note 4 SM-910F
      EchoeRom v? with N4 AEL Kernel v?




    • Husband and wife decide to make a password for s*x, they decide on 'washing machine'.
      Later in bed that night husband says, "Washing machine."
      Wife replies, "Not tonight darling I have a sore head."
      Half an hour passes and she feels guilty so she says, "Washing machine."
      Husband replies, "To late it was only a small load so I decided to do it by hand."



      For Governor and Sheduler infos. Take a look at
      this site

      Display Spoiler



      My Phones: Nokia 909, Motorola V3, ... Siemens S35, Siemens S45 . . . ( :hmm: can not remember) ... SEK750, SEK800, SEC905, Galaxy S1, S2, Note 2, Note 3, Note 4 and now my

      Galaxy S7 Edge SM-G935F
      EchoeRom N v? with S7E AEL N Kernel v?


      and

      Note 4 SM-910F
      EchoeRom v? with N4 AEL Kernel v?




    • A man is lying on the beach, sun bathing, wearing nothing but a cap over his dick. An ugly woman is passing and remarks 'if you were a gentleman, you would lift your hat for a lady ...' He replies 'If you were any sort of lady, the hat would lift itself !'



      For Governor and Sheduler infos. Take a look at
      this site

      Display Spoiler



      My Phones: Nokia 909, Motorola V3, ... Siemens S35, Siemens S45 . . . ( :hmm: can not remember) ... SEK750, SEK800, SEC905, Galaxy S1, S2, Note 2, Note 3, Note 4 and now my

      Galaxy S7 Edge SM-G935F
      EchoeRom N v? with S7E AEL N Kernel v?


      and

      Note 4 SM-910F
      EchoeRom v? with N4 AEL Kernel v?




    • "Mommie, Mommie....did you know that nurses can come apart..?"
      "Well...no. What makes you say that..?"
      "Because the other night, I overheard Daddy say that he screwed the ass off of a nurse..!"



      For Governor and Sheduler infos. Take a look at
      this site

      Display Spoiler



      My Phones: Nokia 909, Motorola V3, ... Siemens S35, Siemens S45 . . . ( :hmm: can not remember) ... SEK750, SEK800, SEC905, Galaxy S1, S2, Note 2, Note 3, Note 4 and now my

      Galaxy S7 Edge SM-G935F
      EchoeRom N v? with S7E AEL N Kernel v?


      and

      Note 4 SM-910F
      EchoeRom v? with N4 AEL Kernel v?




    • A man says to his wife 'Tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time.' His wife replies 'You've got a bigger cock than your brother ...'



      For Governor and Sheduler infos. Take a look at
      this site

      Display Spoiler



      My Phones: Nokia 909, Motorola V3, ... Siemens S35, Siemens S45 . . . ( :hmm: can not remember) ... SEK750, SEK800, SEC905, Galaxy S1, S2, Note 2, Note 3, Note 4 and now my

      Galaxy S7 Edge SM-G935F
      EchoeRom N v? with S7E AEL N Kernel v?


      and

      Note 4 SM-910F
      EchoeRom v? with N4 AEL Kernel v?




    • One day, a hippie and a nun get on a bus. The hippie whispers into the nun's ear and says
      "you wanna have sex?" and the nun says,
      "no way you sicko!", after that, the hippie gets off the bus and tells the bus driver to tell the nuns to go to the graveyard at 9:00pm that night. At 9:00pm the nun arrives at the graveyard and the hippie is there dressed as god. The hippie then commands the nun to have sex with him and the nun replies,
      "Ok, but can you do it up the back?", the hippie agrees and they do it.
      after they're done, the hippie pulls of his mask and yells,
      "HA! I am the hippie from the bus" then the nun pulls of HIS mask and says "HA! I am the bus driver!"



      For Governor and Sheduler infos. Take a look at
      this site

      Display Spoiler



      My Phones: Nokia 909, Motorola V3, ... Siemens S35, Siemens S45 . . . ( :hmm: can not remember) ... SEK750, SEK800, SEC905, Galaxy S1, S2, Note 2, Note 3, Note 4 and now my

      Galaxy S7 Edge SM-G935F
      EchoeRom N v? with S7E AEL N Kernel v?


      and

      Note 4 SM-910F
      EchoeRom v? with N4 AEL Kernel v?




    • A couple driving home hit and wounded a skunk on the road. The wife gets out and brings it back to the car.
      'We need to take it to a vet. Its shivering, it must be cold, what should I do ?' she asks.
      Husband replies 'Put it between your legs to keep it warm'.
      'But it stinks !' she exclaims.
      'So hold its nose !'



      For Governor and Sheduler infos. Take a look at
      this site

      Display Spoiler



      My Phones: Nokia 909, Motorola V3, ... Siemens S35, Siemens S45 . . . ( :hmm: can not remember) ... SEK750, SEK800, SEC905, Galaxy S1, S2, Note 2, Note 3, Note 4 and now my

      Galaxy S7 Edge SM-G935F
      EchoeRom N v? with S7E AEL N Kernel v?


      and

      Note 4 SM-910F
      EchoeRom v? with N4 AEL Kernel v?




    • "YukiChan456" wrote:

      A couple driving home hit and wounded a skunk on the road. The wife gets out and brings it back to the car.
      'We need to take it to a vet. Its shivering, it must be cold, what should I do ?' she asks.
      Husband replies 'Put it between your legs to keep it warm'.
      'But it stinks !' she exclaims.
      'So hold its nose !'

      lol wow [FACE WITH TEARS OF JOY] never heard this one before

      Sent from my GT-I9505 using Tapatalk
    • Ben asks his new girlfriend for a hand job. 'Ive never done that' she says, 'what do I do ?' 'Well' replies Ben, 'remember when you were a kid and you'd shake a coke bottle and spray your brother with it ... that's what you do.' She nods, so he pulls his manhood out and she grabs hold of it and starts shaking it. A minute later, he has tears running down his face, snot flowing from his nose and wax flying from his ears. She asks 'Whats wrong ?'
      Ben cries 'TAKE YOUR FUCKING THUMB OFF THE END !!!'



      For Governor and Sheduler infos. Take a look at
      this site

      Display Spoiler



      My Phones: Nokia 909, Motorola V3, ... Siemens S35, Siemens S45 . . . ( :hmm: can not remember) ... SEK750, SEK800, SEC905, Galaxy S1, S2, Note 2, Note 3, Note 4 and now my

      Galaxy S7 Edge SM-G935F
      EchoeRom N v? with S7E AEL N Kernel v?


      and

      Note 4 SM-910F
      EchoeRom v? with N4 AEL Kernel v?




    • An ugly bloke walks into a pub with a huge grin on his face.
      'What are you so happy about ?' asks the landlord.
      'Well, I live by the railway and on my way home last night I noticed a woman tied to the tracks. I cut her free and we shagged all night !'
      'Did you get a blow job ?' asks the landlord.
      'No ...' he says, 'I never found the head.' +:pistole=+:



      For Governor and Sheduler infos. Take a look at
      this site

      Display Spoiler



      My Phones: Nokia 909, Motorola V3, ... Siemens S35, Siemens S45 . . . ( :hmm: can not remember) ... SEK750, SEK800, SEC905, Galaxy S1, S2, Note 2, Note 3, Note 4 and now my

      Galaxy S7 Edge SM-G935F
      EchoeRom N v? with S7E AEL N Kernel v?


      and

      Note 4 SM-910F
      EchoeRom v? with N4 AEL Kernel v?