Two aliens landed in the West Texas desert near an abandoned gas station. They approached one of the gas pumps, and one of the aliens addressed it. "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."
The gas pump, of course, didn't respond.
The alien repeated the greeting.
There was no response.
The alien, annoyed by what he perceived to be the gas pump's haughty attitude, drew his ray gun, and said impatiently, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. How dare you ignore us in this way! Take us to your leader, or I'll fire!"
The other alien shouted to his comrade "No, you don't want to make him mad!"
But before he finished his warning, the first alien fired. There was a huge explosion that blew both of them 1200 feet into the desert, where they landed in a heap.
When they finally regained consciousness, the one who fired turned to the other one and said, "What a ferocious creature. It damn near killed us! How did you know it was so dangerous?"
The other alien answered, "If there's one thing I've learned during my travels through the galaxy ... any guy who can wrap his penis around himself twice and then stick it in his own ear, is someone you shouldn't mess with."
A guy enters the costume shop for various occasions.
- I have to go to a mask party and I want to go dressing like Adam.
There comes the chick out there with a leaf, the guy refuses:
- Too small!
Comes with a larger leaf, the same:
She brings a big palm tree leaf:
- Too small!
The girl screaming:
- Look champ, then you better put it on your shoulder and go as a gas pump!